The Catnip Blood Catastrophe!
OMG diary, you won't BELIEVE what happened today! So I was at the
Vampurr Club's grand opening, right? And they had these fancy new
"Catnip Blood Cocktails" - basically blood bags but with EXTRA
catnip essence mixed in.
I thought "How bad could it be?" WELL. Let me tell you. Within 5
minutes I was doing backflips off the chandelier, tried to bite my
own tail THREE times, and challenged Count Pawcula to a "cape
spinning contest" (which I totally won btw).
The worst part? I accidentally knocked over his 500-year-old yarn
collection while doing my victory zoomies. He was SO mad his fangs
were literally glowing red! But then I did the puppy eyes thing and
he couldn't stay mad. Classic vampire kitty move. 😼
Note to self: ONE catnip blood bag per night. MAX. Unless it's a
party. Then maybe two. 🙈
#catnip-chaos
#vampire-problems
#worth-it
The Half-Bat Incident
So today was transformation training with Elder Whiskersworth.
Everything was going great until I spotted the JUICIEST mouse I've
ever seen...
I got so distracted mid-transformation that I ended up stuck as
half-cat, half-bat, dangling from the chandelier like a fuzzy
piñata! The other vampire kittens were DYING laughing. Literally had
to screenshot it for MouseBook.
The mouse escaped and posted about it with the hashtag
#VampireKittyFails. I'm MORTIFIED. But Elder W said my "unique
aerial approach" showed "creative thinking" so... win?
My fangs are coming in nicely though! Soon I'll be a proper vampire.
Just gotta work on not getting distracted by every mouse that moves.
🦷✨
#transformation-fail
#embarrassing
#still-cute-tho
Sunscreen & Laser Disasters
HUGE discovery: My "premium vampire sunscreen" is NOT waterproof.
Found out when the neighbor's anti-vampire sprinkler got me. Had to
hide in a cardboard box until sunset like some kind of regular cat.
THE SHAME.
But THEN Lady Meowgaret from the Vampire Council showed up for
inspection with her LEGENDARY laser pointer. I was giving her my
super professional report about nocturnal activities and
responsibilities and stuff...
Then she pulled out THE RED DOT.
I don't even remember what happened next. I blacked out from joy.
Apparently I chased it across three rooms, knocked over two ancient
vases, and ended up doing parkour on the tapestries. The council was
"concerned about my focus" but honestly? Best. Day. Ever. 🤔
PS: Ordering waterproof sunscreen AND laser pointer resistance
training. Probably. Maybe. We'll see.
#laser-addiction
#no-regrets
#red-dot-supremacy